Imperfect Moms? Are They The Best Moms! Happy Mother’s Day!

 Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who carries the title of mom.  Every mom is not biological.   Every mom did not raise a child in her household; but fulfilled the role of mom. 

How do we define imperfect mom?     Overcooking a turkey, wearing an embarrassing outfit, or telling a silly joke may not define an imperfect mom to all.   When I scanned this article; it was warm, sincere, and humorous.   All imperfect moms are good moms.   Why am I not feeling all warm and fuzzy about “imperfect moms”?

I define an imperfect mom as someone who is supposed to be a mother; but forgot.  She leaves her children home alone to chase a man.  She leaves her children home alone to run to the store.  She leaves her children home alone; because she is thinking of herself.

I define an imperfect mom as someone who loves to shop for clothes.  She loves to shop for clothes; buys more for herself than her children.     She wears the fashionable shoes; yet her child wears the same pair; until they outgrow them or they tear.   Her child may continue to wear the worn-out shoes; as her shoe collection grows.    She has a Coach purse; yet her child has no snack or allowance money.  She may give her child allowance money; but borrows it or finds excuses to decrease it.   

I define an imperfect mom as one who is well-groomed; yet, the children need a bath.  They may need a change of clothes.   The baby’s diaper needs changing.  The children need a tooth-brush or need to be reminded to use it.  She visits the hair salon regularly.  She gets her manicure and pedicure regularly.    Her priorities are herself.  She comes first; her looks, her time, and her perception of herself.

I define an imperfect mom as one who demands the oldest child take care of the siblings.  Mom may sleep late; the oldest prepares breakfast.   The oldest ensures the others leave for school.  The oldest may prepare their dinner.  Mom may be drunk.  Mom may be hanging out.  Mom may act as she has no responsibilities.  Mom may not be receptive nor responsive to the her children’s needs.

I define imperfect mom as the one who stays home to raise her child as an excuse to collect government assistance.  She may watch TV all day.  She may entertain her friends.   She may holler and scream at the children still at home.  She may spank the children at home; just because.   Her spanking may be considered abuse.

I define imperfect mom as a person with issues.  She may need help.  She may have been a victim.  She may not care.  She may not realize her lack of parenting.   She may not be able to identify or accept her flaws.

Imperfect moms are the best moms?   My interpretation of this comment.  I have worked the community and schools providing prevention, intervention, and treatment for youth and families.  I have researched numerous issues pertaining to families to write grants that were funded to make a difference.

Do you know an imperfect mom?    Do you feel warm and safe when you think about her?  Do you feel insecure about her? 

Can a mom go from imperfect to perfect?  How do you define it?   What do you do?    Who’s protecting the child?

Don’t get frustrated.  Do the right thing.   The transition will save our children.


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  1. #1 by Sana Johnson-Quijada MD on 05/09/2011 - 10:53

    very friendly perspective. i qualify! yay! thanks for sharing w us. keep on.

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